fabfemmeboy:
Here’s the thing no one tells you about the ability to get legally married in a state that isn’t your own:
It feels great at the time. It feels amazing, especially if you go right as it’s been legalized, and there’s a huge party that literally feels like the entire state is celebrating - or at least the whole city - and you dress up and have the ceremony and beam as you sign a freaking piece of paper because that’s what you’ve been waiting for. You have a great few days of vacation/honeymoon, and then you fly home, basking in the glow of your new, legally-valid marriage that you thought you might easily never see.
And then you get home…and nothing’s different. Especially for couples who have been together for decades - the people who recognize and respect the relationship still do. The people who didn’t still don’t, and if anything are maybe more antagonistic than before. You have no rights you didn’t have before your incredible weekend away. You still have to carry papers to justify your relationship (as power-of-attorney/next of kin, not as spouses) in case one of you ends up in the hospital unexpectedly. You have twice as many tax forms to file, and every time you have a bureaucratic task in front of you, you have to stop and think “Who’s asking? Who’s asking my marital status?” And even then, 98% of the time, you have to put down single - the same way you did before.
Marriage equality destination weddings are great - I would do mine again in every state if I could! - but the realities of “legally married” are a little less than ideal when your state of residence doesn’t recognize it.
(via writergrrrl)